I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
