"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'm really busy with my period
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