HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
