Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
