Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
