I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
