after a month anything with tits is on the radar
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We are two peas in an std pod
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
