Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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