dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize