Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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