I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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