saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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