i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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