we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
