You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
