can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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