would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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