I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
