just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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