why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
