that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
