I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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