so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
