real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
