We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
