we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize