when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
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I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
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Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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