On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
