if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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