My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
