so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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