I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
