even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize