I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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