i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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