white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
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yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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