direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
