haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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