she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
