i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
