yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
