oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
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Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
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She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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