I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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