party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
