what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
