i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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