You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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