Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
