we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize