So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
