my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
