Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
