This is not my ceiling
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
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Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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