I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
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The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
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You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize