Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
