She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think your dad took our porno
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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