You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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