You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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