mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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