Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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